Saoirse (
selkiesaoirse) wrote2018-05-22 06:44 am
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May 26th
It's a beautiful day, and the beach is windy, but not cold. Saoirse's been feeling a strange pull, stronger than usual, and daily, she's been bugging Greta to bring her to the beach to try to sate it.
It's finally paid off, possibly because even Cu and Sadie are being affected by Saoirse's ceaseless, impatient energy. But here they are, and Saoirse is wearing a swim suit under her clothes, and she's running around barefoot in the sun-warmed sand.
It's a beautiful day, and the beach is windy, but not cold. Saoirse's been feeling a strange pull, stronger than usual, and daily, she's been bugging Greta to bring her to the beach to try to sate it.
It's finally paid off, possibly because even Cu and Sadie are being affected by Saoirse's ceaseless, impatient energy. But here they are, and Saoirse is wearing a swim suit under her clothes, and she's running around barefoot in the sun-warmed sand.
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That's the sensible reason to hold off, anyway. The less sensible reason is that Greta still feels a little bit sick over the trouble she caused a few weeks ago. Only a handful of people know it was all her doing -- and those same people know it was a horrible accident. But it's hard to shake the feeling that everyone else could know: that strangers on the street might take one look at her and guess the truth, and hate her for it. What right does she have to a beautiful day?
Perhaps none. But Saoirse is blameless, and Greta can stomach an outing for her sake.
She has Sadie on a leash, mostly because she doesn't want the poor dog to end up losing what fur she's managed to keep to more of those horrible elf-knots. Cu's good at sticking close to Saoirse, though (and more likely to dislocate Greta's shoulder if he decides to take off after her), and the beach isn't too crowded, so Greta lets him galumph along after Saoirse, his leash in her pocket in case someone decides to raise a stink about it.
"This is nice, isn't it?" she says to the lass. Convincing her is the next best thing to convincing herself.
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When they find a good spot, Saoirse pulls her tee shirt off and lays it down like a towel. She's got her bag, like always, and she pulls out a bottle of sunscreen for Greta to run onto her shoulders and back. Her bathing suit is a one-piece, with a unicorn on the front, but the straps are thin and the back has a deep scoop, so she doesn't want to get a sunburn.
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Of course, that makes it rather difficult to explain why she's still unhappy about it all, but that isn't something she wants Saoirse worrying about, either. The sight of her bathing suit at least manages to coax a genuine smile out of her. Saoirse looks adorable in it, though Greta can't help but wonder what Amalthea would think of the depicted unicorn. It doesn't quite convey the impressiveness of the real thing.
She settles down behind Saoirse to apply the offered sunscreen. It's one of many modern innovations that never would have occurred to her, and it seems like a lot of fuss just to prevent the odd sunburn -- but then again, it's been years since she spent a decent chunk of her own day in full sun. Sunburn was a problem farmers had to worry about moreso than bakers; her burns were usually oven-induced. At any rate, better safe than sorry, and it's not as if she wants the lass to fry to a crisp.
"Don't wash it all off straight away," she says, giving Saoirse's shoulders one last little rub and pressing a kiss to her temple before releasing her. "That water hasn't had much time to warm up, yet."
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Before long, the dog's thick coat is waterlogged and collecting all sorts of salty sand, seaweeds, and the like. He looks silly, and he's definitely going to need a bath.
But that thought rushes from her mind when Saoirse hears a seal bark at her. She freezes, looking out towards it. It's laying on something, and for a moment, Saoirse thinks she's dreaming.
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She knows Cu's barking. In some ways, it's almost become a substitute for a child's voice or a baby's crying: a sound she can tune into, whose changing pitch might warn her that something's gone wrong. And for the most part, he sounds like he's having a grand time with his young mistress (though part of her knows it's the sort of grand time that will probably require a bath when they get home).
And then she hears a bark that isn't Cu at all.
It sends a little stab of anxiety through her, though she ought to be used to it by now -- the seals are always interested in Saoirse; it's never meant anything beyond what she already knows. Greta looks up, craning her neck a little until she spots the seal a little ways down the beach. Saoirse's staring at it -- again, as usual -- but Greta gets to her feet, anyway, telling herself that there are rules about approaching the seals and she doesn't want to have to explain Saoirse's whole life story to the authorities.
Then she sees what the seal is lying on, and she stiffens, rooted to the spot. No, no. Not now. Not after everything.
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Cu barks at her, concern evident in his tone. She doesn't heed him, not like she normally does. Instead, she moves closer to the seal, eyes pinned to it.
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She reaches Cu's side and touches his head lightly, as if by reassuring him, she can somehow make this all better. She wants to call out to Saoirse, but her own voice feels stuck in her throat -- because who is she to interfere?
Her mother? Now, more than ever, it feels like just a word written on paper, not something that means anything.
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She can see the sleeves, sprawled against the damp rocks. She can see he hood.
She drops to her knees, fingers touching soft, white fur dampened by ocean spray. She lifts it to her chest and buries her face in it.
It smells like home. It smells like her. She pulls it on, the tail of the coat billowing outward before settling at her ankles.
Then she lets out a whoop, so loud it hurts her own ears.
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The last thing she expects is for Saoirse to let out a shriek like that, and for a moment, Greta could swear she levitates from the shock of it. "Saoirse!" she says, half-squawk and half-scold, without even thinking.
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Then she says, "Mum! Look!" She jumps off the rocks and onto the sand. There, she twirls, showing off the coat that's restored her voice.
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"It's beautiful," she says, and it is. She doesn't really know what she thought Saoirse's coat would look like. More like an actual seal, perhaps: grey and dappled, not such a pure, fluffy white. Sinking to her knees, she beckons hopefully. "Here, can I...?" Take a closer look? Hug her once, before she goes? She doesn't know how this story goes anymore.
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"I have to call Thomas," she finds herself saying. Her voice comes out a bit hoarse, and she clears her throat before briskly continuing, "I just... I want him to see you before..." She can't finish the sentence, so she squeezes Saoirse's hands, hoping she'll understand. She doesn't want her to leave without Thomas getting the chance to say goodbye. And she doesn't want to be left standing alone on this bloody beach; she doesn't think she could bear that.
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"I just... I don't want to lose you," she finally says, as if confessing to something shameful.
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"I don't want to go anywhere!" she insists.
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She wants to pull back so she can look at Saoirse properly, but she can't imagine letting her go just yet. She settles back onto her heels, pulling the girl into her lap. "I... I thought you'd just... go to the sea and--and stay there. Like all the stories." A sort of bewildered defensiveness slips into her tone. "That's what always happens, when--when a selkie gets their coat back."
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"I'm not leaving!" she assures. "I just want to go for a swim! Then I'll come back and sit with you and Thomas!" She giggles, like Greta's being truly silly.
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"It's not funny," she insists, ostensibly scolding, even as she gives Saoirse an extra-tight squeeze and kisses her cheek. "For goodness sake. I thought I was going to lose you."
She pulls back, cupping Saoirse's face in her hands. "But you're coming back? You promise?"
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All she wants to do is take her word for it.
"All right," she says, reaching out to tuck a strand of Saoirse's hair back beneath her hood. "Just... take care. And have fun." And come back soon, she wants to add, but she's meant to be trusting her.
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There's a flash of white-blue light, and when she pops her head up again, she's a smooth, white seal. She barks at Greta, a happy sound, before diving back under for her swim.
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Cu whines softly and looks up at her. "She'll be back," Greta reassures him, giving the top of his head -- the only clean part of him -- a pat. "And then we can take you home for a B-A-T-H." Cu tilts his head with a groan that sounds a little perturbed, and Greta pats her leg as she heads back up to where she's left Sadie. "Come on. It'll only be a little while."
Once she's resettled herself, and Cu has reluctantly stretched out on the sand to help Sadie with her stick, she pulls out her phone to tell Thomas what's happened. She feels a brief twinge of regret that he wasn't here to actually see her put on her coat for the first time, but there's no helping that. Besides, Saoirse might be back from her little swim before Thomas even gets here.
Greta picks up her knitting and settles in to wait.
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Though he didn't change before coming over, he did take off his shoes before he got to the sand and he arrived carrying them, with his shirt sleeves rolled up and tucked neatly at his elbows.
He smiled when he saw Greta, but the look shifted to slight concern when he realized he couldn't see Saoirse.
"Where's our dear girl gotten to?"
Greta didn't seem terribly concerned, so he tried to calm down.
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Right. Best to just... out with it. "She got her coat back," she says, then immediately lifts a hand in reassurance. "But she's not leaving! I about panicked, thinking she was, but she's just having a swim, and then she'll be back."
She reaches for him, a little tentatively at first, running her hand down his arm until she can take his hand in hers. "I'd rather she have waited for you, but she was so excited. I'm sorry."
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He gestured at the ocean, a bit in awe. Saoirse had her coat - did that mean she was a little seal now? He squeezed Greta's hand when she apologized.
"It's alright, I'm sure it took all you had to make her wait at all. I'll see her when she comes out again," he said, offering Greta a smile to assure her he wasn't upset. Maybe a bit uncertain, but not upset.
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She can't believe, after all the time she spent harboring the fear that Saoirse would leave them forever, that she even gets to think along these lines. Saoirse will be back, and Thomas will see her, and they'll all be able to-- "Oh! And she can talk again. We'll be able to just... talk." It's not a complete novelty, not after New Year's, but it still feels like a gift. With a snort of amusement, she adds, "She about deafened me, actually. It might be just as well you got here after she'd got that out of her system."
She's babbling a little, she knows, channeling all of her relief and excitement into a flood of words. But it helps to have an outlet, finally, and she leans against Thomas, letting her head rest on his shoulder for a few moments.
"... She's so cute," she repeats, unable to help herself.
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"I can't wait to see her," he confessed. "I've seen baby seals, but I'm sure she takes the cake." He smiled at Greta and wrapped his arm around her as she leaned against him. He felt the faint flutter of excitement he had when he learned he was to be a father, and perhaps it wasn't fair to have that feeling about a little girl that had already found a family, but he did none the less. Saoirse had become rather dear to him.
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And with Thomas here, his arm curled around her, it takes a while for that glow to fade. But as the minutes wear on, a thread of that old anxiety starts to weave its way back into her thoughts. Just how long of a swim did she mean to take? She wouldn't linger that long, surely -- not knowing that Thomas was on his way, or how frightened Greta had been for those few awful minutes.
"Maybe she's lost track of time," Greta ventures, her tone light, but her heart pounding. "Maybe it feels different when you're, um... out there." She gestures vaguely at the water, then fists her hands in her lap.
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He wondered if this would be a sort of regular thing now, trips to the beach so Saoirse could be a seal, or if that wasn't how her sort of fairy tale worked. Thomas knew of selkies, but it'd been ages since he'd read a story about one.
He got to his feet carefully and offered his hands to Greta.
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He's probably right. It's probably fine.
Sadie and Cu both tag along as they head to the water, though Greta manages to catch Sadie's leash before she actually wades in (having to give Cu a bath is more than enough). Cu bounds into the surf, though, barking at the waves. Greta hesitates to just start calling Saoirse's name -- that might alert other bathers, and the next thing you know they'll be forming a human chain and trying to dredge up something that isn't there -- but Cu's barks must carry. Doesn't sound carry better through water, anyway? Saoirse ought to hear him.
But if she does, she doesn't resurface. Greta squints out at the water, her arms tightly folded, as if to ward off a chill. "I don't see her," she says. "Do you?"
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Seals had to come up for air eventually, which meant all of them, including Saoirse, would have to pop up again like little corks. Thomas scanned the surface of the water, trying not to get distracted by shadows caused by the waves.
"Where did you last spot her?"
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But she can't see a single seal, normal or not, and she winces at Thomas's entirely sensible question. She'd watched Saoirse for a little while, but it had grown harder to spot her as she'd moved out to sea, and it had seemed faithless to just stand at the water's edge and stare (the sort of doubt that made you lose things, in stories). The last time she saw her was probably twenty minutes ago, and now she feels like a terrible mother for not keeping a closer eye.
"I don't know," she says, trying and mostly failing to not sound wretched. "Out... right about there, I think." She gestures to the last spot where she knows she saw her. "But that was ages ago. She could be anywhere."
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He looked at her, frowning faintly. "How long should we wait before we properly worry?" he asked, as if either of them were perfectly calm at the moment.
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She looks up at him, brow furrowed. "She wouldn't have left. She promised, and I believe her." It's not much comfort, but she still clings to it. She can't believe Saoirse's abandoned them on purpose. But that leaves the troubling question of what could be keeping her.
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He fumbled for his phone. If Saoirse was a little seal, and if there were others out there, maybe Daine could find her.
"I'm calling Daine," he said to Greta by way of explanation as he lifted his phone to his ear. He didn't want her to think he was just suddenly ignoring the situation. "Daine? It's Thomas, ah-- would it be possible for you to come to the shore? Saoirse's a seal and we've-- we've lost sight of her. She hasn't come back to shore."
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She flies to the beach in falcon shape, and soon spots Thomas and Greta standing by the waterline. She hovers by them for a moment, long enough for them to see her and realize she's no ordinary bird. Then she wings out over the water, casting her magic out and listening for Saoirse's unique voice among the chatter.
Saoirse? she calls out experimentally. Can you hear me?
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She's not afraid, not exactly. But they're not letting her leave. It makes her feel a little nervous. They're stealing her, making her break her promise to her mum. She's as much mad as she is anything else. But there are too many of them and not enough of her.
She looks up when she hears Daine. She doesn't know how to answer consciously, has never had that practice, but maybe Daine can hear and feel her answer anyway.
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She considers dropping down the waves and taking seal shape, herself, but the number of selkies -- and the protective air they're giving off -- keep her where she is. Instead, she narrows her focus to just Saoirse, reining in her magic. The other selkies won't even hear what Daine's saying to her, hopefully.
I see you, she says. I'm up here, see? She gives her wings a little bobble to help catch Saoirse's eye. Thomas and Greta asked me to check on you. Is everything all right? Can you think the words to me? It occurs to her that Saoirse's probably never used mind-speech before, and she adds, Just think the words as clearly as you can.
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I am alright. But they will not let me leave. Her thought-words are very carefully enunciated, so she can be sure that she's doing it right. She looks up at the bird that is Daine, her big selkie eyes looking sad. They say I belong with them.
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Mithros, but this is a mess.
The last thing Daine wants to do is frighten Saoirse, so after thinking hard for a minute, she says, Well, that's silly. It sounds like they're acting up the way the other fair folk are.
Of course, she doesn't want to lie to Saoirse, either. I don't think it would be smart for me to try and fight them by myself, Daine tells her, making sure the others don't overhear. And I don't think it'd be fair to ask the seals to help me. You might need to stay with them for a little while until we can come up with a plan.
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She leaves Saoirse with the promise to come back soon, then wings her way back to where Thomas and Greta are waiting on the beach. As she approaches them, she realizes she can't very well communicate what she's learned in this shape. Crow might work, but this seems like the sort of conversation they ought to have face to face, not face to beak. But she spots Sadie a little farther up the beach, away from the waterline, waiting patiently by a collection of towels and bags and other sundries, including a blanket that ought to be large enough to cover her.
Daine slows as she passes them, almost hovering in place for a beat or two, long enough to give them a pointed look before she continues over the sand and lands on the ground by Greta's things. With a little help from Sadie, she hops beneath the blanket and resumes her human shape. By the time Greta and Thomas have caught up to her, she's standing, the blanket securely wrapped around her.
"She's all right," Daine says first. "Some other selkies have found her, though, and they don't seem keen to give her up. They aren't harming her, but they're not letting her leave, either."
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"Daine, we have to get her back. She's ours."
Perhaps he might have been delighted for Saoirse to find some of her own kind, but this was a bridge too far. He was not letting Greta lose her daughter to the fae. He'd read far too many fairy tales as a child to think anything good would come of it.
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She's all right. There's something to cling to, and Greta briefly presses her face into Thomas's shoulder in silent relief before reemerging to hear the rest of what Daine has to say.
Which, admittedly, is a bit less reassuring.
It had never occurred to Greta that Darrow might have other selkies, and she's rendered speechless from the shock of it for a few moments. Long enough for Thomas to hotly insist that Saoirse is theirs. It gives her a little thrill, in spite of everything -- because he means it, and because how much of a horrible sin can her own possessive feelings be if he shares them -- and takes his arm in unspoken solidarity.
"We'll need a plan, then," Daine says. "They won't give her up without a fight, and they're too many for me to handle by myself. I can't ask the seals for help, either."
"Oh, for--give me a boat and a bloody oar or two and I'll fight them," Greta snaps.
Daine gives her a look she doesn't like one bit, one that clearly says 'I'm too sympathetic to tell you you're being stupid, not that you need to be told,' and her tone is infuriatingly calm as she replies. "There's a lot of them. And if we don't get it right the first time, they might take her farther out -- or she might get hurt by accident."